A grown-up returns to kindergarten in pursuit of learning and happiness
I have a confession to make: Like a fairy tale witch, I secretly long to steal the youth of innocent children. When I see kids running about, carefree and laughing, I don’t think, “How wonderful, to be young!” Instead, I’m wildly jealous. These kids don’t have any debt, or much emotional baggage; they’re able to enjoy whatever they’re doing at the moment without dwelling on what happened yesterday or what will happen five years from today. They speak and act freely without concern for what others will think. Their instincts are intact, and their futures are wide open.
We grown-ups, on the other hand, have often made choices that limited our options. We may have mismanaged our money, failed to reach our potential in our schooling or career, or had kids of our own before we’d had enough time to be kids ourselves. These choices may have made us less playful and imaginative, and more stymied and fearful.
I expect that I’d be less jealous of kids if I could have a completely fresh start, putting any limiting experiences behind me and reconnecting with the optimism and self-assurance that I had as a child. I would like to return to square one and begin again, living my life completely on my terms without regrets or complaints. If I succeed in doing this, maybe I’ll become content with the grown-up life I’ve chosen. At the least, I hope to avoid becoming Old Lady Dicker, the resentful hag who throws rocks at the children who pass by her rundown shack.
This post is part of the series “Why Reschool?”
Reschool Yourself is a year-long exploration of how school shaped the person I became, and how I decide to educate myself from now on. This fall I'm returning to my old classrooms week by week, to understand how school influenced my identity and to regain the happiness and creativity of childhood. In the spring I'll pursue learning opportunities in the U.S. and abroad to become as autonomous as possible. I'll share my experiences of "reschooling" and personal development through this website and provide a forum for readers of all ages to exchange their own. This site is a place to tell our stories about education: our experiences past and present, and our vision for future generations.
— Melia Dicker
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