Comments on: Giving Up The Struggle http://www.reschoolyourself.com/giving-up-the-struggle Reliving my schooling. Rebooting my life. Fri, 18 May 2012 11:33:46 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.6 By: Mr. Hsu http://www.reschoolyourself.com/giving-up-the-struggle#comment-697 Mr. Hsu Tue, 07 Oct 2008 18:03:54 +0000 http://www.reschoolyourself.com/?p=938#comment-697 How did we get to the point where enjoying life's simple treasures fell to number 15798706 on the list of things to do?? Striving for perfection should be at least 3 or 4 spots below enjoying life. I struggle with the relativity of my life daily. Understanding that my "perfect" may not even be somebody else's good enough, and conversely that my "good enough" may far outweigh somebody else's perfect. It's all relative, and there is no right or wrong. Best to just enjoy the ride, all of us and our ultimate imperfections. How did we get to the point where enjoying life’s simple treasures fell to number 15798706 on the list of things to do?? Striving for perfection should be at least 3 or 4 spots below enjoying life.

I struggle with the relativity of my life daily. Understanding that my “perfect” may not even be somebody else’s good enough, and conversely that my “good enough” may far outweigh somebody else’s perfect. It’s all relative, and there is no right or wrong. Best to just enjoy the ride, all of us and our ultimate imperfections.

]]> By: Melia http://www.reschoolyourself.com/giving-up-the-struggle#comment-648 Melia Fri, 03 Oct 2008 16:42:37 +0000 http://www.reschoolyourself.com/?p=938#comment-648 It's interesting that you've started taking walks. Since reading the book French Women Don't Get Fat, I've thought about the European tendency to exercise in street clothes, without needing to break a sweat, and the American obsession with the gym. I'm a jogger, like many Type A folks, and don't feel like I'm really using my muscles unless I push myself. But I think that walking might actually be better for the body -- not so much wear and tear, and good for clearing the mind, as you say. I've gotten used to taking walks with Gill and Darren, and I find that it lets me take in the little things. The other night Darren and I heard strange sounds while walking out in the country roads and stopped to listen. It turned out to be a snoring pig! If I'd been jogging, I wouldn't have even noticed. Regarding letting achievement spiral out of control, I've been thinking on the same terms, "that this is not the friend, the kind of partner or the kind of parent I want to be." Before I have kids, I want to make sure that I'm not too busy and stressed to listen to a knock-knock joke or play catch at the spur of the moment. Right now I want to be the kind of daughter, friend, and partner who can sit and sip a beer and watch the sun set instead of declining because I have too much to do. What else is life about? It’s interesting that you’ve started taking walks. Since reading the book French Women Don’t Get Fat, I’ve thought about the European tendency to exercise in street clothes, without needing to break a sweat, and the American obsession with the gym. I’m a jogger, like many Type A folks, and don’t feel like I’m really using my muscles unless I push myself. But I think that walking might actually be better for the body — not so much wear and tear, and good for clearing the mind, as you say.

I’ve gotten used to taking walks with Gill and Darren, and I find that it lets me take in the little things. The other night Darren and I heard strange sounds while walking out in the country roads and stopped to listen. It turned out to be a snoring pig! If I’d been jogging, I wouldn’t have even noticed.

Regarding letting achievement spiral out of control, I’ve been thinking on the same terms, “that this is not the friend, the kind of partner or the kind of parent I want to be.” Before I have kids, I want to make sure that I’m not too busy and stressed to listen to a knock-knock joke or play catch at the spur of the moment. Right now I want to be the kind of daughter, friend, and partner who can sit and sip a beer and watch the sun set instead of declining because I have too much to do. What else is life about?

]]> By: Ide http://www.reschoolyourself.com/giving-up-the-struggle#comment-646 Ide Fri, 03 Oct 2008 15:12:43 +0000 http://www.reschoolyourself.com/?p=938#comment-646 Good job investigating the "achievement trap." This project sounds like it has the potential to be really stressful and, from one Type A to another, I've found that when I'm dealing with things like this the sooner I get that under control, the better. I have found that taking a walk first thing in the morning and then again in the evening really clears my mind. Job hunting has been really stressful ("OHMYGODWHYDOESN'TANYONE WAAANNNT MEEEE?!), but those walks really help me refocus my energy from negative to positive. Because even going to the gym carries an objective for me, it's nice to have one activity each day that's relatively directionless. After I think things through, I always come to the same conclusion: Everything works out eventually, regardless of whether you can force it to heed your timeline. Relaxation is something I've been working on since college because I realized that this is not the kind of friend, the kind of partner or the kind of parent I want to be. I need to learn to go with the flow now so I can enjoy all the things that really matter when they come along; the things that truly are the most important. And none of them pay a salary. Good job investigating the “achievement trap.” This project sounds like it has the potential to be really stressful and, from one Type A to another, I’ve found that when I’m dealing with things like this the sooner I get that under control, the better.
I have found that taking a walk first thing in the morning and then again in the evening really clears my mind. Job hunting has been really stressful (”OHMYGODWHYDOESN’TANYONE WAAANNNT MEEEE?!), but those walks really help me refocus my energy from negative to positive. Because even going to the gym carries an objective for me, it’s nice to have one activity each day that’s relatively directionless. After I think things through, I always come to the same conclusion: Everything works out eventually, regardless of whether you can force it to heed your timeline.

Relaxation is something I’ve been working on since college because I realized that this is not the kind of friend, the kind of partner or the kind of parent I want to be. I need to learn to go with the flow now so I can enjoy all the things that really matter when they come along; the things that truly are the most important. And none of them pay a salary.

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