Reschool Yourself

Yesterday marked the official close of my year of reschooling. Though it was a busy Saturday, my thoughts kept coming back to the progress I’ve made this year in finding balance and contentment, and the gratitude I have for all the people who helped make this project possible. You know who you are, and I hope you know how thankful I will always be to you.

Two big lessons that come to mind:

1) Achievement hasn’t made me happy in the past, and it won’t make me happy in the future.

2) Nearly 100 percent of the time, life isn’t as serious as I think it is.

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This is Chapter 4 of a story about Reschool Yourself that I wrote for a GoodReads.com contest, which asked for a story written in a 24-hour period purely in status update form. Each line could be only up to 140 characters, though I’ve edited slightly here for readability. Chapter 3 told stories of my return to elementary school, and how I felt after completing it for the second time.

The rest of my journey was a whirlwind. Middle school in October, high school in November, and college in December. I blogged nearly every day about my experiences: going to a middle school dance, beating my sixth grade timed mile in P.E., and so on. I posted photos in a series called “Remember This?” — of Picture Day, Otter Pops, or lockers filled with books. Readers did remember, and they posted their memories to the blog alongside mine.

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This is Chapter 3 of a story about Reschool Yourself that I wrote for a GoodReads.com contest, which asked for a story written in a  24-hour period purely in status update form. Each line could be only up to 140 characters, though I’ve edited slightly here for readability. Chapter 1 gave a background on the idea for the project and how it developed. Chapter 2 highlighted some of the freedoms that adults expect but don’t give kids in school, and it shared my first taste of reschooling: kindergarten.

After spending a week in kindergarten, I said goodbye to my “kinder posse,” as I called them. I felt sad to leave them, because we’d started out together, but it was time to move on to first grade.

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Photo by James Adamson

I’ve decided to end the official academic year of reschooling this Saturday, June 20th. I’d been thinking June 15, because it’s closer to the real last day of school for most kids, but June 20th has more significance for me. It’s exactly ten months after the first day of kindergarten (August 20th, 2008), and it’s exactly one year after I left my full-time job as Spark Co-Director. It feels like the right time to step back and reflect on my first year that I’ve educated myself on my own terms.

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Over the last couple of years, I’ve been gradually greening my lifestyle on a budget. This series of posts will document one area at a time: self-care, food, household, etc.

Note, 6/16: Since I posted this, I’ve done a specific search on the products I talk about below, as well as a few mainstream products for comparison, and the jury’s out on how natural a lot of products are. The Skin Deep cosmetics database gives a 1-10 (low-high) hazard rating, based on how toxic the ingredients are to the body, and how easily they’re absorbed through the skin. Some products, like those made by Nature’s Gate, get moderate ratings similar to those of mainstream products. Others, like those from Burt’s Bees, consistently have low hazard ratings. The best thing is to read labels, do research if you can, and have a general awareness about buying products that are as natural as possible and do whatever’s manageable for you.

The motto of Heather Loraine cosmetics is “If you wouldn’t put it in your body, don’t put it on your body.” While I’m not taking this advice literally (you can apply some things topically that you shouldn’t ingest), I’ve adopted it as a general guideline. As my non-natural self-care products run out, I’m replacing them with a natural alternative. It’s not nearly as expensive or labor-intensive as you might think. To find products, I usually scope out the beauty section at the local natural foods market, ask friends’ advice (Facebook is a good polling tool), or search online for natural remedies. The key is taking baby steps so as not to get overwhelmed or go broke.

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The young woman whom my mom mentors is going out of state for college in the fall, and my mom is compiling a booklet of advice for her. (Yes, my mom rocks.) Here’s my contribution:

If I could do college over again, I’d spend less time in the library and more time living. As a student, I had the attitude that the most important part about school was academic achievement, but now I realize that it’s about so much more. It’s about playing frisbee on the lawn at 10 pm. It’s about sitting around with your girlfriends in the dorms, giggling about silly inside jokes. It’s about the little moments that will stay with you the rest of your life. This may be the only time where you live on a campus with people who are all your age, so enjoy your time there. Don’t believe people who say that college is the best time of your life, but make it one of the best times.

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A couple of weeks ago, a woman from Skadaddle Media emailed me to ask if I’d share the Reschool Yourself story on camera for Mutual of Omaha’s aha moment campaign. She said she’d found me through an Internet search, and that the video production trailer was coming to Jackson as part of a nationwide road trip to collect the life-changing stories of everyday people.

Watch a short video of my aha moment here.

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At the moment, I’m feeling truly annoyed at myself. I haven’t posted to the blog for over three weeks, so now that I’m sitting down to do so, I have a lot to say. It’s going to take a long time. It would have been better to break this long update into smaller ones along the way. I’m tempted to close my computer and avoid blogging at all. I’m experiencing a moment of breakdown.

I don’t mean “breakdown” in the hyperventilating, curled up in a fetal position sense. I mean that I’ve hit a snag, an obstacle that’s preventing me from being who I want to be. The opportunity here is to turn this moment into a breakthrough by reacting differently than I normally do, in a way that makes me happier. This takes willpower and practice.

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I’ve recently had a couple of really good weekends. I did a lot of things that I enjoyed, like play music and cook. Most importantly, I mostly stayed away from the Internet.

Like many of us, I rely on the Internet every day, and I don’t know how I’d survive without it. But it also makes me crazy. Some days I come away from hours of browsing feeling truly unhappy.

Here’s why I have a love-hate relationship with the Interweb:

1) There’s new content literally every time you blink, and most of it is free.

Pro: I’m constantly entertained or fascinated. I can watch most of my favorite shows online. I can get up-to-the minute announcements about cultural events in town, or safety alerts on hurricanes that are moving into my area.

Con: I feel guilty and ignorant every day for not keeping up with the constant flood of breaking news. I feel like Newman from Seinfeld, working in the post office: “The mail never stops. It just keeps coming and coming and coming. There’s never a letup. It’s relentless.” I typically have dozens of web pages open, nagging at me to check them out. A friend sends me a New York Times article, and by the time I get around to reading it, it’s old news. Next! It’s simply not possible to keep pace with everything newsworthy, but I still feel like a failure for not being able to.

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Aside from “So how’s Mississippi?”, the most common question I get these days is, “Are you still reschooling yourself?” I’m never quite sure how to answer that.

The project completion date is technically June 15th, marking the end of a full school year, so yes, I’m still officially reschooling. I think the question gives me pause because Reschool Yourself is gradually becoming more of a lifestyle than a finite project.

The fall was about looking back and processing the past. The spring is about moving forward, and figuring out what kind of lifestyle I want to lead. I’d originally envisioned the spring as an intensive period of travel and self-directed study. However, I came to realize that I was craving stability rather than nomadic adventure. I decided to postpone any major travels and move to the South, which is one of the best places to plant roots.

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